Why in the world voorbereiden?

Voorbereiden is dutch, meaning to prepare. For me, figuring out how to prepare for the future has always been a huge difficulty. Do I plan a lot, until I'm exhausted, do I just chill and let it go? What am I supposed to do with myself anyway? Finally I listened to my husband (don't tell him... ;-)) and he told me just go spend time with God already. He's talking to you even if you are done talking to Him. After a bunch of sitting and stewing meditating I felt lead to read a book a spiritual Momma Schlyce told me to oh.. a year ago called Qualities of A Spiritual Warrior by Graham Cooke. If you've ever read Graham you know he's fairly hard core, and you'll eventually get a 2x4 between the eyes. For me the hard spot was I have completely lost my vision. So, after hearing about Terri Savelle Foy and her vision board I thought, what really is my vision.

I was thinking when did my vision just shrivel up and die. I have a massive bulletin board in our bedroom, which has neon cards attached to it. With a lot of goals that I now realize weren't put on my heart by God but by need. Yeah, being out of debt is really important and we really have been working at it day after day. But, I highly doubt the purpose of my life is to scour for any job, be miserable, not be a good witness and move on. It doesn't mean I don't ever plan on working, it just isn't the primary vision that I need to focus on. I remember when we posted a picture of a Dodge Journey on the board, after test driving one. I also remember throwing that puppy away when I realized I wanted TOYOTA. So what really should be on there?

Terri suggests asking God to show you what His goals are for your life, then creating a picture with whatever cost is associated with it and believing for it. So then I had to think what really is my purpose. Then a moment of clarity that I haven't had since the first of April happened. Suddenly a lot of things started to make sense on the spiritual side of things. I've long dreamed of being a Mom. I mean sure learning about MBA material and finishing college and medical assisting school were great. Not really what I feel called to do. Sure those skills are great, but really getting in there with a MOPs group, talking with those ladies, trying to breath into them and help them grow, that's what I have been called to. Then I realized why satan took away our baby. Without a physical child here on Earth, I would never be fully admitted into those groups. No way for me to make a difference, he'd win.

Back to voorbereiden, and the purpose of this blog. I realize now that as I wait for the day I can be a part of that group I need to prepare. As Terri says many time in her blog, "When God knows you're ready, get ready!". I realized that I don't have to wait to start getting ready. To start looking for things to help me prepare down the road. It's okay that I have essentially everything for a baby, except the baby in my arms. If this is what I'm called to do, it's what I'm called to do. So, now I start to prepare.